I saw an absolutely ridiculous commercial the other night.
The product was for "Zerosmoke". "Zerosmoke" is nothing more than one of those magnetic fake earrings; you buy it for almost $40 (after the 14-day "free trial" period where you just pay shipping) and attach it to the top of your ear. It's supposed to eliminate your need to smoke through "auricular acupressure". Auricular accupressure? Next time you want a smoke, pinch the top cartilage part of your ear. Does it work? If it does, great. Run down to Claire's Boutique in the mall and buy the same damn thing for $5.
Anyway, I thought the whole commercial was a little silly until I saw the end. A guy showed up wearing a white labcoat, beause we all know that wearing a white labcoat makes you the authority on anything to do with medicine. Then he introduced himself as former president of the "aaaaaayaaaaaaaaa-em-aaay." I mean, he had a really weird way of slur-dragging out the AMA thing. I frowned, thinking that any past president of the AMA who was advertising this thing must have gotten removed from his post for it. Then I noticed the small print at the bottom of the screen. It had his name, and then "AAMA".
A-ha. AAMA, eh? They never went into what exactly that stood for, so Justin and I went on a search mission to fill in the blanks:
American Architectural Manufacturers Association
American Association of Medical Assistants
The Association for the Advancement of Mexican Americans
American Academy of Medical Administrators
The Asia-America Multitechnology Association
The American Amusement Machine Association
The Alabama Automotive Manufacturers Association
and, most likely:
The American Academy of Medical Acupuncture.
Now, from his very careful slurring and the total lack of explanation as to what his "AAMA" stood for, it seems fairly obvious that he wanted you to believe he said "AMA". Because if someone was President of the American Medical Association, the biggest association of credentialed doctors in America, he'd probably know what he was talking about with this ear-magnet stuff, right? Right.
Or maybe they pulled Joe Schmoe off some Alabama automotive assembly line, slapped a white coat on him, and told him to rhapsodize on the subject of auricular therapy. He can show you his AAMA card if you want to see it.
I wanted to find this guy to show you, but when I went to the ZeroSmoke website* he seemed to have been removed from the end of the commercial. At least, the commercial on the website version. I wonder if they got in trouble over it, or if they just didn't want to get caught doing it on the website, where it's easier to get screencaps and do research.
* I do NOT recommend going to this website. It hijacks your browser.
While looking for a better version, I found this on youtube. Someone else caught something a bit fishy with the commercial.
As a side note, I love the way that "auricular therapy" sends happy little unicorn-sparkles into your brain.
I must conduct a survey of people with cartilage piercings. If this commercial is accurate, there shouldn't be a single smoker among them.